A Helping Hand

I'm so busy these days...trying to meet every ones needs as well as mine and I don't know where to start. I want to help I need to help...it's in my blood to help others. And I do Believe that one of the reasons God send me here is to help others. But how do I help myself?I help myself by helping others!I love seeing a smile on peoples faces and I love making a positive difference in people lives. Day after day I see how people struggle in many situations. Some people struggle with money some people struggle with the challenges their youngsters put them through, some people are sad about a broken heart, and some people are just lost in this world. I'm glad to know that I can impact some people by bringing a smile to their faces. Its the best gift. I don't get greedy if I don't have time for me, at least that's not what I think...My life is to be here for my family first, then to provide the experiences and knowledge life has given me to those who would like to know them. I want to be like a peace maker or something Groovy like that! Sometimes my head is full of these crazy ideas in how I can help everyone in this world. Like if I could buy a bus and give everyone a free ride, I would. If I could help all the children in the world that need a home and food, I would.Bottom line, It breaks my heart to see people in pain or suffering. I'm the kind of person who literally puts herself in other peoples situations and I try to understand...sometimes it keeps me up at night. My passions in life are many. And one of them is to change peoples lives for the better. With Gods help I know I could, So far I have. I want to see smiles! I want to see Peace! I think it's possible!

Feelings of love

When I first meet him I didn't know it would end up this way.He made me smile again and I loved it.His eyes were green and bright and I couldn't help but fall in love. A friendship grew so strong, and love was just a few hugs away.My heart was filled with a love so pure the day he made me his wife.My best friend and love he is today.I'm the luckiest woman, I feel, always.

Missing my daddy

Thinking of the past can bring me down to my knees
Asking God the simple question, why?
Everything happens for a reason, they say.
But sometimes the reason is hard to see.
Like why did my dad have to suffer since the day he was born?
Why did he die the way he did…all alone?
Watching him die was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.
And painful in many ways.
I remember asking God, “Why do I have to live this agony?”
I remember slowly dying inside and not knowing if I would survive the pain that was taking over my soul.
I had to be strong for me, for my daughter and for my two younger sisters. But I couldn’t…I tried. God knows I tried.
The hospital was cold and dark, like the way I felt inside. And although people told me he was going to be alright… I knew he was going to be gone.
The pain that consumed me took over my existence for days, weeks and months after his death. At times it’s still very hard to think about.
I remember those days vividly as if it was yesterday.
I remember loosing myself in tears and in the fear of never ever speaking to my father again. I remember feeling lost and wanting to scream and just go crazy. I remember wanting to be someone else but me.
I was so confused…I asked, why?
Why him? Why my dad? Why my daddy? My dad, why?

Nowadays, I think of the positives.
My dad was suffering too much and God decided to take his pain away. And that, to me, makes sense.
I guess I kind of know why…
I still miss my dad. I wonder how he would be with his grand children. I wonder what my relationship could have been with him. I wonder so much…
I know he is in heaven now…I can feel it. And that make me happy. I know that he is where he needs to be and that someday we’ll see each other again. Till then, I will continue to miss him and think about him everyday. I love you dad!

Jim

Last night I saw the movie The Doors, with my friend Glenda as my husband read a book. As each song ended a new one began...I started to wonder what it was to live life at the same time as Jim. The truth is I will never meet him and as stupid as it may be it makes me a bit sad. Oliver Stone only captured a bit of who Jim Morrison really was. I think I mention to my friend that the best part, for me, of the movie was when we see Jim walking down Sunset Blvd. And although it was really Val walking down Sunset Blvd, I could only imagine Jim doing the same thing. Not alot of people undestand my love and appreciation for Mr. Mojo Risin, But those that do, can admit that Jim Lives through the music and his intellectual words that are captivating. Peace and Love
May